How do maintain your community? Or, alternatively, Christmas is coming fast!

A sense of community is part of what makes us human; an extremely important part.  With the Internet, texting, etc. one would think we all have well developed communities.  But really, how many of the people on your Facebook page are more than acquaintances?


Maybe I'm just old-fashioned but I miss getting more than bills and junk mail in my mailbox.  That's why I still participate in the potentially antiquated tradition of mailing, yes really, (snail)mailing Christmas cards.  As part of that tradition, I like to send cards with pictures of our family.  For a few years, I made the cards myself.  Last year I got an opportunity (read freebie) to use Shutterfly (online).  They've given me the same opportunity this year.  The cards we got last year were wonderful and not just because Dylan's the cutest kid ever.


My goal this year is to order cards before Thanksgiving so I can address and mail them that weekend.  I haven't decided on exactly which one or ones we'll be using.  Part of my problem is they have too many I like!  Last year I made a custom desk calendar on Shutterfly and everyone at work loves it.  They almost make it too easy.


What ones would you choose?  Guess what, it's not exactly a rhetorical question.  Shutterfly wants you to have the opportunity (read freebie) to try their cards out this year too.  And, they don't have to be Christmas cards.  Do it for some other event if Christmas cards don't float your boat.  They gave me three codes for 25 free cards each.  Comment about your community or your Christmas traditions.  The winners will be chosen randomly.   


In addition if you are a blogger: You can register at http://goo.gl/DDw7Q for  a chance at 25 free cards this holiday season?

Coconut & "Nut" Macaroon Torte...and Kubb

Last night we had Rebecca, Hans, and Destiny over for dinner. Andrew and I really enjoy spending time with them. There is no drama and while we have many things in common, we have enough not in common that it's fun learning from each other. 


Speaking of learning from each other...We also learned a new yard game from Rebecca and Hans called Kubb.  It's a Swedish game with blocks you knock down with sticks and then you knock down the "King" in the middle.  I wasn't very good but it was a lot of fun.  We're hoping they can bring it to Dylan's birthday party.


Rebecca and I aren't really eating wheat so I wanted to try a new recipe for dessert. I made the Coconut & Almond Macaroon Torte recipe from Molly Katzen's Enchanted Broccoli Forest.  Of course I can never leave well enough alone though.  I decided because my other friend, Rebecca, had given me some pecan meal when I was down in Georgia that I would use that instead of the almonds.  I also didn't have chocolate chips so I used a couple Rice Dream chocolate bars for the topping.  Turned out well enough I'm telling you about it here today :)


Coconut & "Nut" Macaroon Torte


The Cake
6 eggs, separated and at room temperature
1/2 c packed light brown sugar
1/2 tsp salt
1 1/3 c finely ground almonds (or pecans)
1 c shredded coconut ( I use unsweetened)
1/2 tsp orange rind (I used almond extract)


The Filling and Topping
1/2 c raspberry jam
2 T butter (I used coconut oil)
1/4 c semisweet chocolate chips (I used two Rice Dream chocolate bars...probably quite a bit more than 1/4 c)
1 T cocoa
1 T powdered sugar (I didn't use this at all)
1/4 tsp orange rind (didn't use either)


Preheat oven to 350 degrees and butter the bottom of a 10-inch spring form pan.


Using an electric mixer, beat the egg whites until stiff in a large bowl.


In a different large bowl, without worrying about washing the beaters, beat the egg yolks, gradually adding brown sugar and salt.  When all is added, beat 2 minutes on high.


Stir the ground nuts and coconut into the yolk mixture.  Add the orange rind/extract.  Mix well.


Fold the egg whites into the mixture - carefully and quickly.  Transfer to the prepared pan.  Bake undisturbed for 30 minutes.  Cool the cake completely in the pan.


Once the cake is completely cool, remove from the pan, and cut in half, using a serrated knife and a gentle sawing motion.  Spread the bottom half with the raspberry jam.  Replace the top half.


In a pan on low heat, met together the butter (coconut oil) and chocolate chips.  Stir in the cocoa and powdered sugar and orange rind (if using).  Spread this mixture, while still warm, across the top.  Put in the refrigerator to firm up.  


Tastes great served on a warm summer evening, on the deck, with decaf hazelnut coffee!

The Speed of Life

Lately, I’ve been thinking a lot about the speed of life.  Watching Dylan grow and develop and realizing he is almost a year old, makes me feel like things are just going too fast.  Right now, I’m on a plane heading home from a three-day trip to Savannah, Georgia and then I’m driving to Grandma and Grandpa’s to go camping for the weekend.  It is so amazing that I can fly across the country in a day but I’m really glad I don’t have to do this all of the time.  I question whether humans should really be living at the speed that we do. 

I’ve been taking Dylan on bike rides, pulling him in his trailer behind my bike.  We’ve rode with Bonnie; we’ve gone to pick up garlic in Keizer; we went to Walgreens right before I left.  That feels like a speed I can handle right now. 

I remember wanting everything to happen faster when I was in high school and college.  I wanted to hurry up with school.  I wanted it done so I could really live my life.  I guess that was a growth opportunity for me that I might have missed.  I should have been living my life then.  I don’t always live my life now; I still have times when I want things to hurry up so I can do x, y, or z but I’m realizing that hurrying up to do that means I lose sight of that which is right in front of me.  Being present in the here and now.  That’s life.  I’d like to think I’m done with the hurry up and wait syndrome.  I think I’d rather just plod along and deal with the great things around me now.  Take the great opportunities as they come, look forward to the future, but realize that I have everything I need right here.

And, as much as Grandma wants me to work (help-out) at Campout this weekend, I’m looking forward to a lazy weekend.  Enjoying family and friends.  Being close to Dylan.  And, sleep…trying to figure out which coast my body is on while my soul continues to work on being here, wherever I am! And maybe I’ll speed up just a tad, and take Dylan for a bike ride :)

A Nice Spring Yellow or Maybe a Fabulous Pink?

Why is it that when I think things are looking pretty black...they start to turn around?  When I breathe and take a step back, things are never nearly as bad as they seem.  Yet, I never seem to remember this when I'm in the middle of that dark place.  My friend posted recently about saying it like you mean it...about giving your words meaning.  So important.  As much or more so in the words we tell ourselves.  You know what I'm talking about; those words we tell ourselves in our head.  The ones we would never tell our best friend.  The names we call ourselves.  The ones we would never call our family.  We manifest those words we "speak" to ourselves.  No wonder things start looking pretty black.  And, while I look smashing in black, I'm tired of my brain being black...it's just not the right color!  I'm thinking a nice spring yellow...or maybe a fabulous pink!  I'm done with black brain; how about you?

Frustration

Definition of frustration from Wikipedia (bolding is my emphasis):

"...a common emotional response to opposition. Related to anger and disappointment, it arises from the perceived resistance to the fulfillment of individual will. The greater the obstruction, and the greater the will, the more the frustration is likely to be. Causes of frustration may be internal or external. In people, internal frustration may arise from challenges in fulfilling personal goalsdesires, instinctual drives and needs, or dealing with perceived deficiencies, such as a lack of confidence or fear of social situations.  Conflict can also be an internal source of frustration;  when one has competing goals that interfere with one another, it can create cognitive dissonance."

 Well there you have it...I'm frustrated by what I see as a lack of forward movement in my life.  I'm plagued by a number of ideas and yet I seem unwilling or unable to find the time and energy to follow through with them.  It always seems like I end up looking to others for fulfillment. 

I've been working hard to learn to be open to new possibilities and opportunities.  It's hard not to get frustrated when I see someone else moving forward.  I'm happy for them but still a bit jealous.  What is it about human nature that makes us jealous of those people; that makes us think the grass is always greener on the other side, so to speak?

When I stop to take the time, I realize my life is great.  I'm learning new things, I love my job, and I love my family.  Stuff and things are not the important part; people are the important part.  Guess that's why frustration "can create cognitive dissonance."

Not sure this post makes any sense.  Welcome to my thought process!

Amazement

There's a story I've heard many times about my great-grandpa Ray M. (everybody seems to call him that, M being for his middle name of Milton).  Anyway, Ray M. would visit my grandparents when my dad was a kid for a couple of weeks.  The house had a huge picture window with a lot of hummingbird feeders.  Ray M. took a red baseball cap and put black dots on the hat with a permanent marker. Then he would sit outside very still and quietly in front of that picture window so he could see his reflection and watch the hummingbirds try to "feed" off of that hat.  I decided to channel a bit of my inner Ray M. this morning.

I pulled up a lawn chair and a cup of coffee and watched the Girls.  I just can't believe how amazing they really are.  In what seems to be a completely uncoordinated process, they create an amazing hive.  There is no particular in and out...left side of the hive isn't incoming and right side isn't outgoing.  Inevitably, one of the Girls gets knocked ass over tea-kettle as she tries to land or take-off but she just brushes herself off and goes on about her business.  They are still bringing in pollen...some have bright orange baskets on their legs....some with light yellow baskets.  Others appear to be scouts, out looking for more.  I saw a couple others doing the job of an undertaker...bringing out a Girl who had completed her life's work...taking her far away from the hive.  It's kind of like watching a camp fire...you sit there and zone out to a certain extent and ponder the meaning of life.  Not too shabby a way to drink a cup of coffee on a beautiful morning!

I'm here...really I am!

Its been an interesting year.  One where I learned a lot about myself and my body.  In a month or so, I will be giving birth to a baby boy, a brand new human.  What a sense of responsibility that seems.  On some level, being pregnant for nine months seems like a long time; on another level, it seems totally appropriate to be pregnant for that long.  I don't exactly feel ready but I do feel more prepared and accepting of the fact that a little guy is coming to live at the Jones Cottage.  I'm comforted by the love and support we have from our families and the people in our lives.  

Speaking of families...it's amazing how many people come from crappy families.  We've never been rich money wise but the older I get, the more I realize just how rich my family really is; how rare it is for a family to honestly like each other and want to spend time together.  And, I've never felt like it was pushed.  It just seemed to happen.  I can only hope we can continue that with the future generations. To help them develop their own family connections, whatever that may be.  

As I've traveled this path of pregnancy, I've come to realize that my child will not have the same kind of childhood that I had and that's okay.  I used to think that if I couldn't give my child the same experiences as I had then I didn't want to have children.  Now, I realize that the experiences will be different, they have to be, but maybe/hopefully they will be rich experiences filled with love and the outdoors just as mine were.  It's okay and probably better that they will be different.  Things have to change and evolve...the world isn't what it was when I was a kid and I can't expect that it should be. We'll just have to see where the adventure takes us next! 

PS. In case you couldn't tell....I love my family very much!!!!

Just a Thought...

My cousin recently purchased a home in Tacoma, WA, so I went up there last weekend to visit and as he put it, "Show him all the stuff he hasn't seen in Tacoma." I think sometimes we get used to going certain places or doing certain things. It's not a novel concept but just a friendly reminder that sometimes it's fun to play tourist in your own town. And, if your interested in Tacoma, below are some nice pictures of the Chihuly Bridge of Glass and the flowers in W.W. Seymour Botanical Conservatory at Wright Park.

Check out my other blog!

My cousins, Rachel and Mandy, and I have started a new blog together...Sisterhood of the Not So Skinny Pants. Each of us has had a lifelong struggle with our weight. Each of us has a slightly different approach and reason why we struggle. In an effort to share our struggles, defeats and accomplishments we thought we would start the blog. Find out what we do, why we started and how we keep charging ahead. Maybe you or someone you know also struggles with their weight. Maybe one of our stories will sound familiar. Either way, check us out over at Sisterhood of the Not So Skinny Pants. It'll be fun!

Ummm, it's like busted!

You know that "Thing" (yes it's thing with a capitol T) that you never think you could ever do.  Never in a million years. You know people who do "it" but not you. These people are called freaks, by the way.

I managed to conquer that "Thing."  My "Thing" was getting in good enough shape to ride my bicycle to Burgerville in Monmouth (approx. 32 miles round trip) for a smoothie and french fries. Those who know me, know I've been losing weight and so far, I have lost about 47 pounds.  That's great but it wasn't getting me my smoothie!  

On Labor Day, four of us set out to conquer my "Thing." And, rather than just complete the task and say okay that's done, I  decided I could add on a bit.  Instead of a nice out and back, we rode from my house in Salem, to Dallas, to Monmouth, to Independence and back on River Road. This ended up being 41 miles.  I'm not going to lie, I'm slow.  But I made it.  And, as I kept telling everyone, if I were a guy, I would be officially sterile!  But I didn't die and a blackberry smoothie never tasted so good.  So below are photo's from my epic journey.  Hopefully, you too will one day conquer your "Thing," with a capitol T of course!

Do You Belong...Do You Even Want To?

Most of us want to belong. We want to have that sense of community, of being part of a group.


On one hand, I want to be an individual. I've been taught my entire life to be an individual, yet being an individual isn't always enough. Is this a character flaw? At times it would feel as if it is. I should be strong enough to do things on my own. I don't want to have to rely on others. I'll do it myself! Yet, I still seek out community in my life. I want to be part of a group.

According to Sarason (Professor of Psychology Emeritus at Yale University), sense of community is “the perception of similarity to others, an acknowledged interdependence with others, a willingness to maintain this interdependence by giving to or doing for others what one expects from them, and the feeling that one is part of a larger dependable and stable structure.” Others have defined sense of community as “a feeling that members have of belonging, a feeling that members matter to one another and to the group, and a shared faith that members’ needs will be met through their commitment to be together.”

A problem can arise when you don't have a perception of similarity. It's us vs them, but what about when feel like you're neither an us or a them? What if you feel like both.

Can you really be both?

Some days I'm not sure where I am. I feel pulled in many different directions. You see me one way, she sees me another way, and I don't see myself either way. None of these things are negatives, they are just opportunities to look outside of ourselves and open up to the greater world. If you don't feel the need to belong, good for you, I guess. If you do, maybe you want to think about the different groups and how you belong to each. What strengths do you see in your various groups? What are they sharing with and teaching to you? What are you providing in return? Each of us has talents and strengths that we share with those around us. Many times we don't even realize what those talents or strengths might be. Sit down with an honest friend some time and ask them what they see as your strengths or talents. It might just surprise you!

Maybe you belong more than you think and matter to those in your community! And, others are committed to you and you to them, even if you think you have to be an individual and don't yet know how to ask for those things you need.