September 26, 2008

Dog Shit 101 or How to Become the Crazy Neighbor Lady!

Many of us want to rid the world of injustice. Although we'll probably never be caped crusaders over dog shit. You know how sometimes you do something stupid and then wonder what possessed you to do said stupid thing? Hi, I'm raising my hand, really high!

We moved in about a year and a half now ago. I've known neighbor A's dog was shitting in neighbor B's yard for about a year. Now, for some reason it didn't bother me when I didn't know neighbor B and it was obvious they didn't give a crap (get it, ha ha) about their yard. They literally never mowed. The grass was waist high (oh man I'm good). But, now I know neighbor B and I know they eventually want to put in edible landscaping. Dog shit and edible landscaping do not go together, just in case you were wondering.

I hadn't seen the little, yappy dog for a while so I figured the owners had a clue. WRONG! I just hadn't been getting up early enough. Wednesday, I got up at 6:30 am. There is yappy dog, shitting in the yard. It's a clear view through the fishbowl (our living room window is 100 x 70). I run outside in my robe and flip thops yelling, "Whose dog is this?" See, told you it was "How to Become the Crazy Neighbor Lady." I've tried following yappy dog before, and had narrowed down the possibilities for the owners. I went up the alley (across the street) and sure enough the dog went right to the door I thought it would. The owner opened the door and I, being the crazy neighbor, yelled "Your dog is shitting in other people's yards." Notice, I was careful not to say my yard, 'cause I didn't have a leg to stand on. The startled woman just looked at me and said, "Ok." At least that's what I think she said.

Today, I went and told neighbor B what I had said. It's not my business but thought I should let them know in case neighbor A decided to yell at them. Turns out, neighbor A is likely to be moving soon. Boy do I feel silly. At least I didn't likely cause WW III in our neighborhood since I have cats that go outside. Be my luck to have someone, "Your cats shit in other people's yards!"

And, just to show how big a problem this can be, check out this article on DNA testing of dog shit in Israel. Seriously people.

September 3, 2008

Ummm, it's like busted!

You know that "Thing" (yes it's thing with a capitol T) that you never think you could ever do.  Never in a million years. You know people who do "it" but not you. These people are called freaks, by the way.

I managed to conquer that "Thing."  My "Thing" was getting in good enough shape to ride my bicycle to Burgerville in Monmouth (approx. 32 miles round trip) for a smoothie and french fries. Those who know me, know I've been losing weight and so far, I have lost about 47 pounds.  That's great but it wasn't getting me my smoothie!  

On Labor Day, four of us set out to conquer my "Thing." And, rather than just complete the task and say okay that's done, I  decided I could add on a bit.  Instead of a nice out and back, we rode from my house in Salem, to Dallas, to Monmouth, to Independence and back on River Road. This ended up being 41 miles.  I'm not going to lie, I'm slow.  But I made it.  And, as I kept telling everyone, if I were a guy, I would be officially sterile!  But I didn't die and a blackberry smoothie never tasted so good.  So below are photo's from my epic journey.  Hopefully, you too will one day conquer your "Thing," with a capitol T of course!

Love Letters to My Sons..