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February 8, 2009

When the Simple Life Isn't So Simple

This is something I've been thinking about a lot lately...what do you do when a seemingly great friend turns out to a) not be the person you thought they were, b) not bring anything positive into your life, or c) all of the above? Now, note, I said friends. Family is a whole different story.

What is the acceptable way to deal with these situations? I personally have moved and not provided a forwarding address. It's a totally passive way of dealing with it. That particular friend was never mean or aggressive towards me...rather it was all about her, never about me. And, we all know, it's about me! But seriously, I had discussed, or at least thought I had discussed how I felt about the friendship. Apparently, she didn't get it. So in keeping with simplifying my life, I decided not to maintain that friendship.

So, really how many people can you maintain close friendships with? Really. Think about that one for a minute. You can "know" a lot of people but how much energy can you or are you willing to expend maintaining close personal friendships? And before you freak out, realize that it's okay not to be best buds with everyone you meet.

If people aren't bringing joy into your life, then don't have them in your life. And, I don't mean they can't share their problems with you, or that you can't share your problems with them. I mean, do they give you the love and support that you give them. Or, is it one-sided?

It's okay to move on. If you're looking for those things that make your life more full and enriched, that friend is probably not the right one for you. Sometimes the simple life just isn't that simple!

1 comment:

lavachickie said...

Nice post. It's often as simple as just not tending the connection. Especially with those who tend to dominant the realm--if you aren't catering to them, they will just float away.

I've been on both sides of the situation; I've met people I know I put off because I was very comfortable, extroverted, and loved sharing when perhaps they were not so much that way. That comes across as "all about me," I'm sure. But I tend to fill a void when it's there.

And I've come in contact with people who I REALLY wanted to get to know better; but those people, despite saying they want the same, don't come through. I eventually give up trying... and without fail the next time I see those people it's the same, "OMG, so good to see you! We really MUST get together sometime and catch up!" Why, I just want to ask. Why?

The best friendships don't take so much work. They just happen. I'm not saying relationships don't take ANY work, but when it's a two way street between two well matched personalities, it happens without A LOT of work.

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