Photo taken December 19th, shortly after conception :)
Speaking of PCOS or polycystic ovary syndrome, I was diagnosed at 15 (as discussed before). Within the next few years, I decided there was no way I was going to have children. For one, I'm not terribly fond of most kids and for two, PCOS was going to make it difficult if not impossible to get pregnant. Well, we know what usually happens when we say "never" but I digress. I've never been fond of artificial fertility stuff either. So, no children. And, with poor self-esteem/body image I "knew" no guy was going to be interested anyway.Then, I got a bit older and my cousin had her first kid. Then, I joined the Mormon Church and everyone was having babies. It started to not seem like such a bad idea.
Then, I got married (so much for no guy being interested) and eventually left the Mormon Church. Married life was stressful and children again seemed like an unreasonable idea.
As we know, different things are important at different points in our life. Suddenly, I became important...my health, both physical and mental became important. Over a 2 year period, I lost over 60 pounds, became physically active, ate healthier, and worked hard to make strides in my self-esteem/body image.
The PCOS was still there...but a child seemed like a possibility again. So, Thanksgiving 2009, Andrew and I decided we were open to the idea of a child, through natural means, but that we weren't really going to "try." Ironically, I was pregnant by Christmas.
I still have issues. I still have problems with poor self-esteem, eating foods that make me feel like crap, not getting enough exercise, etc. But, most of the time I know the difference. I know things or issues aren't permanent...they ebb and flow.
On one hand, I joke that with how quickly I got pregnant, it is a good thing I wasn't promiscuous in high school. On the other hand, I firmly believe that without the changes I made this would have never happened.
No comments:
Post a Comment