I haven't really spoke about my weight and emotional problems on this blog. I have a bit on the blog I share with my cousins. However, I feel it's time to share it here as well. Below is a bit of text that I shared on the other blog. I have edited it to be current. Let's start with that and then another day, I'll tell you a bit more:
I can't point to one day when something changed in my brain. I, however, can point to a personal low...December 25, 2006. My dad, my husband (Andrew) and I were hiking at Coquille Falls. It's 0.5 miles downhill to see the falls. The downhill was just fine. Coming back out my blood sugar got low, I was fat and out of shape, and that half mile was hell. At one point, I just sat down in the rain and the dirt and cried. Andrew tried to cheer me up saying, "You are doing what you like, with people you love." It just didn't matter...it wasn't fun anymore.
I had just left an organization that required much of my free-time. Later that day Dad suggested, if I could devote that much time to the organization before, maybe now I could devote that time to me.
I will never know what my highest weight was...I refused to own a scale. And, it would take another 9 months before I got "serious." I tried counting calories over the summer, although I'm not sure how effective that was. I do think it got me in the right frame of mind. I also know jealousy played a role. At our annual August family reunion everybody was excited about my cousin Mandy losing 40lbs since April. What the hell? I could do that. I didn't want her to be the only "skinny" one!
At the same time we got a dog and I started Weight Watchers. A dog with lots of energy that needed walks everyday. At first we just went around the block. That's all I could handle. Then pretty soon it was half a mile and by the end of the winter we were walking 2-3 miles in the morning and more in the afternoon. The dog had to leave but the exercise and Weight Watchers stuck.
I believe that without exercise I would never have lost the weight. I started riding my bicycle, I've added dragon-boating, I workout to clear my mind during my lunch break, I walk downtown with my husband in the evenings. Two years ago I rode 3 miles to church. As soon as I got there, I called Andrew and asked him to pick me up after church. I just couldn't imagine riding the 3 miles home. Seriously, I thought I was going to die.
What a difference 2 years makes! From sitting in the dirt, crying in the rain in the woods, to a 41 mile bicycle ride a year ago, and competing in a 500m dragonboat race with 19 other people in June. I have more energy and I've lost 60 lbs. I haven't "arrived" and I don't think I ever will...it will continue to be a daily struggle. But, it's one I know I can continue and not end up where I was. And, I can inspire others to make changes in their lives that benefit them - physically, mentally and emotionally! That's a good start for now.