The Speed of Life

Lately, I’ve been thinking a lot about the speed of life.  Watching Dylan grow and develop and realizing he is almost a year old, makes me feel like things are just going too fast.  Right now, I’m on a plane heading home from a three-day trip to Savannah, Georgia and then I’m driving to Grandma and Grandpa’s to go camping for the weekend.  It is so amazing that I can fly across the country in a day but I’m really glad I don’t have to do this all of the time.  I question whether humans should really be living at the speed that we do. 

I’ve been taking Dylan on bike rides, pulling him in his trailer behind my bike.  We’ve rode with Bonnie; we’ve gone to pick up garlic in Keizer; we went to Walgreens right before I left.  That feels like a speed I can handle right now. 

I remember wanting everything to happen faster when I was in high school and college.  I wanted to hurry up with school.  I wanted it done so I could really live my life.  I guess that was a growth opportunity for me that I might have missed.  I should have been living my life then.  I don’t always live my life now; I still have times when I want things to hurry up so I can do x, y, or z but I’m realizing that hurrying up to do that means I lose sight of that which is right in front of me.  Being present in the here and now.  That’s life.  I’d like to think I’m done with the hurry up and wait syndrome.  I think I’d rather just plod along and deal with the great things around me now.  Take the great opportunities as they come, look forward to the future, but realize that I have everything I need right here.

And, as much as Grandma wants me to work (help-out) at Campout this weekend, I’m looking forward to a lazy weekend.  Enjoying family and friends.  Being close to Dylan.  And, sleep…trying to figure out which coast my body is on while my soul continues to work on being here, wherever I am! And maybe I’ll speed up just a tad, and take Dylan for a bike ride :)

Frustration

Definition of frustration from Wikipedia (bolding is my emphasis):

"...a common emotional response to opposition. Related to anger and disappointment, it arises from the perceived resistance to the fulfillment of individual will. The greater the obstruction, and the greater the will, the more the frustration is likely to be. Causes of frustration may be internal or external. In people, internal frustration may arise from challenges in fulfilling personal goalsdesires, instinctual drives and needs, or dealing with perceived deficiencies, such as a lack of confidence or fear of social situations.  Conflict can also be an internal source of frustration;  when one has competing goals that interfere with one another, it can create cognitive dissonance."

 Well there you have it...I'm frustrated by what I see as a lack of forward movement in my life.  I'm plagued by a number of ideas and yet I seem unwilling or unable to find the time and energy to follow through with them.  It always seems like I end up looking to others for fulfillment. 

I've been working hard to learn to be open to new possibilities and opportunities.  It's hard not to get frustrated when I see someone else moving forward.  I'm happy for them but still a bit jealous.  What is it about human nature that makes us jealous of those people; that makes us think the grass is always greener on the other side, so to speak?

When I stop to take the time, I realize my life is great.  I'm learning new things, I love my job, and I love my family.  Stuff and things are not the important part; people are the important part.  Guess that's why frustration "can create cognitive dissonance."

Not sure this post makes any sense.  Welcome to my thought process!

Do You Belong...Do You Even Want To?

Most of us want to belong. We want to have that sense of community, of being part of a group.


On one hand, I want to be an individual. I've been taught my entire life to be an individual, yet being an individual isn't always enough. Is this a character flaw? At times it would feel as if it is. I should be strong enough to do things on my own. I don't want to have to rely on others. I'll do it myself! Yet, I still seek out community in my life. I want to be part of a group.

According to Sarason (Professor of Psychology Emeritus at Yale University), sense of community is “the perception of similarity to others, an acknowledged interdependence with others, a willingness to maintain this interdependence by giving to or doing for others what one expects from them, and the feeling that one is part of a larger dependable and stable structure.” Others have defined sense of community as “a feeling that members have of belonging, a feeling that members matter to one another and to the group, and a shared faith that members’ needs will be met through their commitment to be together.”

A problem can arise when you don't have a perception of similarity. It's us vs them, but what about when feel like you're neither an us or a them? What if you feel like both.

Can you really be both?

Some days I'm not sure where I am. I feel pulled in many different directions. You see me one way, she sees me another way, and I don't see myself either way. None of these things are negatives, they are just opportunities to look outside of ourselves and open up to the greater world. If you don't feel the need to belong, good for you, I guess. If you do, maybe you want to think about the different groups and how you belong to each. What strengths do you see in your various groups? What are they sharing with and teaching to you? What are you providing in return? Each of us has talents and strengths that we share with those around us. Many times we don't even realize what those talents or strengths might be. Sit down with an honest friend some time and ask them what they see as your strengths or talents. It might just surprise you!

Maybe you belong more than you think and matter to those in your community! And, others are committed to you and you to them, even if you think you have to be an individual and don't yet know how to ask for those things you need.