How do maintain your community? Or, alternatively, Christmas is coming fast!

A sense of community is part of what makes us human; an extremely important part.  With the Internet, texting, etc. one would think we all have well developed communities.  But really, how many of the people on your Facebook page are more than acquaintances?


Maybe I'm just old-fashioned but I miss getting more than bills and junk mail in my mailbox.  That's why I still participate in the potentially antiquated tradition of mailing, yes really, (snail)mailing Christmas cards.  As part of that tradition, I like to send cards with pictures of our family.  For a few years, I made the cards myself.  Last year I got an opportunity (read freebie) to use Shutterfly (online).  They've given me the same opportunity this year.  The cards we got last year were wonderful and not just because Dylan's the cutest kid ever.


My goal this year is to order cards before Thanksgiving so I can address and mail them that weekend.  I haven't decided on exactly which one or ones we'll be using.  Part of my problem is they have too many I like!  Last year I made a custom desk calendar on Shutterfly and everyone at work loves it.  They almost make it too easy.


What ones would you choose?  Guess what, it's not exactly a rhetorical question.  Shutterfly wants you to have the opportunity (read freebie) to try their cards out this year too.  And, they don't have to be Christmas cards.  Do it for some other event if Christmas cards don't float your boat.  They gave me three codes for 25 free cards each.  Comment about your community or your Christmas traditions.  The winners will be chosen randomly.   


In addition if you are a blogger: You can register at http://goo.gl/DDw7Q for  a chance at 25 free cards this holiday season?

Frustration

Definition of frustration from Wikipedia (bolding is my emphasis):

"...a common emotional response to opposition. Related to anger and disappointment, it arises from the perceived resistance to the fulfillment of individual will. The greater the obstruction, and the greater the will, the more the frustration is likely to be. Causes of frustration may be internal or external. In people, internal frustration may arise from challenges in fulfilling personal goalsdesires, instinctual drives and needs, or dealing with perceived deficiencies, such as a lack of confidence or fear of social situations.  Conflict can also be an internal source of frustration;  when one has competing goals that interfere with one another, it can create cognitive dissonance."

 Well there you have it...I'm frustrated by what I see as a lack of forward movement in my life.  I'm plagued by a number of ideas and yet I seem unwilling or unable to find the time and energy to follow through with them.  It always seems like I end up looking to others for fulfillment. 

I've been working hard to learn to be open to new possibilities and opportunities.  It's hard not to get frustrated when I see someone else moving forward.  I'm happy for them but still a bit jealous.  What is it about human nature that makes us jealous of those people; that makes us think the grass is always greener on the other side, so to speak?

When I stop to take the time, I realize my life is great.  I'm learning new things, I love my job, and I love my family.  Stuff and things are not the important part; people are the important part.  Guess that's why frustration "can create cognitive dissonance."

Not sure this post makes any sense.  Welcome to my thought process!

Amazement

There's a story I've heard many times about my great-grandpa Ray M. (everybody seems to call him that, M being for his middle name of Milton).  Anyway, Ray M. would visit my grandparents when my dad was a kid for a couple of weeks.  The house had a huge picture window with a lot of hummingbird feeders.  Ray M. took a red baseball cap and put black dots on the hat with a permanent marker. Then he would sit outside very still and quietly in front of that picture window so he could see his reflection and watch the hummingbirds try to "feed" off of that hat.  I decided to channel a bit of my inner Ray M. this morning.

I pulled up a lawn chair and a cup of coffee and watched the Girls.  I just can't believe how amazing they really are.  In what seems to be a completely uncoordinated process, they create an amazing hive.  There is no particular in and out...left side of the hive isn't incoming and right side isn't outgoing.  Inevitably, one of the Girls gets knocked ass over tea-kettle as she tries to land or take-off but she just brushes herself off and goes on about her business.  They are still bringing in pollen...some have bright orange baskets on their legs....some with light yellow baskets.  Others appear to be scouts, out looking for more.  I saw a couple others doing the job of an undertaker...bringing out a Girl who had completed her life's work...taking her far away from the hive.  It's kind of like watching a camp fire...you sit there and zone out to a certain extent and ponder the meaning of life.  Not too shabby a way to drink a cup of coffee on a beautiful morning!

I'm here...really I am!

Its been an interesting year.  One where I learned a lot about myself and my body.  In a month or so, I will be giving birth to a baby boy, a brand new human.  What a sense of responsibility that seems.  On some level, being pregnant for nine months seems like a long time; on another level, it seems totally appropriate to be pregnant for that long.  I don't exactly feel ready but I do feel more prepared and accepting of the fact that a little guy is coming to live at the Jones Cottage.  I'm comforted by the love and support we have from our families and the people in our lives.  

Speaking of families...it's amazing how many people come from crappy families.  We've never been rich money wise but the older I get, the more I realize just how rich my family really is; how rare it is for a family to honestly like each other and want to spend time together.  And, I've never felt like it was pushed.  It just seemed to happen.  I can only hope we can continue that with the future generations. To help them develop their own family connections, whatever that may be.  

As I've traveled this path of pregnancy, I've come to realize that my child will not have the same kind of childhood that I had and that's okay.  I used to think that if I couldn't give my child the same experiences as I had then I didn't want to have children.  Now, I realize that the experiences will be different, they have to be, but maybe/hopefully they will be rich experiences filled with love and the outdoors just as mine were.  It's okay and probably better that they will be different.  Things have to change and evolve...the world isn't what it was when I was a kid and I can't expect that it should be. We'll just have to see where the adventure takes us next! 

PS. In case you couldn't tell....I love my family very much!!!!

Another Pumpkin Patch

This weekend we took my mom and Bailey to pick pumpkins.  The place we choose was called "Another Pumpkin Patch."  This place is great!  They are donating all of the proceeds to either Marion Polk Food Bank or Farmers Ending Hunger.  And, they have a corn maze.  So if you haven't gone yet, go to Another Pumpkin Patch.  Take the Brooks exit, turn right when you get to River Road and it will be a few miles up the road on your left!

 

Hanging Rock

Quick, are you from Oregon...can you tell me where Powers is? If not, google it! Okay fine...here's the Wikipedia link. My grandfather moved to Powers from Iowa when he was 13. He's since left but my cousin was mayor once! Anyway, Andrew and I went to the South Coast last weekend to visit family and went hiking at Hanging Rock which is outside of Powers on the way to Glendale. Gorgeous. Andrew says it's one of his top 5 places in Oregon. So, tell me, what are you're top 5 places in Oregon?

I Didn't Even Realize It!

I worked on my bike yesterday. Cleaned the frame, the rims, the sprockets, and the chain. I also, and this is the really important part, put air in the tires. My tires say to inflate to a maximum of 65 psi. They were maybe 20 psi. What a difference it makes. Between that and putting fresh grease on my chain it was like a whole new ride...and I didn't even realize how bad it was. I also borrowed one of my neighbor's recumbents to see if that is a position I could get used to. And, yes, I do know it's nerd patrol central!

As part of my recumbent trial, Andrew and I rode down to Wallace Marine Park, across the Union St. Bridge, and then back to Riverfront Park this morning. We took our books and read in the sun. While we were sitting there like lizards, we saw two little boys and their dads. The little boys were learning how to ride their bikes. The one boy was doing just fine with Dad running along. The second little boy...not so much. He was crying and screaming just a bit. At one point he kept repeating, "No, more. No, more." I'm getting used to the recumbent but definitely knew where he was coming from. It was great to again see so many people using the public space here in Salem.

Union St. Bridge and Cherries

Satuday, Andrew and I helped get the dragonboat across the Willamette for the season. To do that, we rode across the "new" Union St. Bridge. We were both so surprised to see how many people were using the bridge. Lots of people with kids and dogs. It wasn't even a nice day and it was getting a ton of use. Very cool. After getting the boat across the water, we went to the bike shops downtown and ended up getting Andrew a new bike that doesn't suck!

If you haven't seen the cherry blossoms at the Capitol Mall and live in Salem, get down there NOW! They are so quick to pass. The wind and rain are taking them away!

Just a Thought...

My cousin recently purchased a home in Tacoma, WA, so I went up there last weekend to visit and as he put it, "Show him all the stuff he hasn't seen in Tacoma." I think sometimes we get used to going certain places or doing certain things. It's not a novel concept but just a friendly reminder that sometimes it's fun to play tourist in your own town. And, if your interested in Tacoma, below are some nice pictures of the Chihuly Bridge of Glass and the flowers in W.W. Seymour Botanical Conservatory at Wright Park.

Do You Belong...Do You Even Want To?

Most of us want to belong. We want to have that sense of community, of being part of a group.


On one hand, I want to be an individual. I've been taught my entire life to be an individual, yet being an individual isn't always enough. Is this a character flaw? At times it would feel as if it is. I should be strong enough to do things on my own. I don't want to have to rely on others. I'll do it myself! Yet, I still seek out community in my life. I want to be part of a group.

According to Sarason (Professor of Psychology Emeritus at Yale University), sense of community is “the perception of similarity to others, an acknowledged interdependence with others, a willingness to maintain this interdependence by giving to or doing for others what one expects from them, and the feeling that one is part of a larger dependable and stable structure.” Others have defined sense of community as “a feeling that members have of belonging, a feeling that members matter to one another and to the group, and a shared faith that members’ needs will be met through their commitment to be together.”

A problem can arise when you don't have a perception of similarity. It's us vs them, but what about when feel like you're neither an us or a them? What if you feel like both.

Can you really be both?

Some days I'm not sure where I am. I feel pulled in many different directions. You see me one way, she sees me another way, and I don't see myself either way. None of these things are negatives, they are just opportunities to look outside of ourselves and open up to the greater world. If you don't feel the need to belong, good for you, I guess. If you do, maybe you want to think about the different groups and how you belong to each. What strengths do you see in your various groups? What are they sharing with and teaching to you? What are you providing in return? Each of us has talents and strengths that we share with those around us. Many times we don't even realize what those talents or strengths might be. Sit down with an honest friend some time and ask them what they see as your strengths or talents. It might just surprise you!

Maybe you belong more than you think and matter to those in your community! And, others are committed to you and you to them, even if you think you have to be an individual and don't yet know how to ask for those things you need.