How do maintain your community? Or, alternatively, Christmas is coming fast!

A sense of community is part of what makes us human; an extremely important part.  With the Internet, texting, etc. one would think we all have well developed communities.  But really, how many of the people on your Facebook page are more than acquaintances?


Maybe I'm just old-fashioned but I miss getting more than bills and junk mail in my mailbox.  That's why I still participate in the potentially antiquated tradition of mailing, yes really, (snail)mailing Christmas cards.  As part of that tradition, I like to send cards with pictures of our family.  For a few years, I made the cards myself.  Last year I got an opportunity (read freebie) to use Shutterfly (online).  They've given me the same opportunity this year.  The cards we got last year were wonderful and not just because Dylan's the cutest kid ever.


My goal this year is to order cards before Thanksgiving so I can address and mail them that weekend.  I haven't decided on exactly which one or ones we'll be using.  Part of my problem is they have too many I like!  Last year I made a custom desk calendar on Shutterfly and everyone at work loves it.  They almost make it too easy.


What ones would you choose?  Guess what, it's not exactly a rhetorical question.  Shutterfly wants you to have the opportunity (read freebie) to try their cards out this year too.  And, they don't have to be Christmas cards.  Do it for some other event if Christmas cards don't float your boat.  They gave me three codes for 25 free cards each.  Comment about your community or your Christmas traditions.  The winners will be chosen randomly.   


In addition if you are a blogger: You can register at http://goo.gl/DDw7Q for  a chance at 25 free cards this holiday season?

I'm here...really I am!

Its been an interesting year.  One where I learned a lot about myself and my body.  In a month or so, I will be giving birth to a baby boy, a brand new human.  What a sense of responsibility that seems.  On some level, being pregnant for nine months seems like a long time; on another level, it seems totally appropriate to be pregnant for that long.  I don't exactly feel ready but I do feel more prepared and accepting of the fact that a little guy is coming to live at the Jones Cottage.  I'm comforted by the love and support we have from our families and the people in our lives.  

Speaking of families...it's amazing how many people come from crappy families.  We've never been rich money wise but the older I get, the more I realize just how rich my family really is; how rare it is for a family to honestly like each other and want to spend time together.  And, I've never felt like it was pushed.  It just seemed to happen.  I can only hope we can continue that with the future generations. To help them develop their own family connections, whatever that may be.  

As I've traveled this path of pregnancy, I've come to realize that my child will not have the same kind of childhood that I had and that's okay.  I used to think that if I couldn't give my child the same experiences as I had then I didn't want to have children.  Now, I realize that the experiences will be different, they have to be, but maybe/hopefully they will be rich experiences filled with love and the outdoors just as mine were.  It's okay and probably better that they will be different.  Things have to change and evolve...the world isn't what it was when I was a kid and I can't expect that it should be. We'll just have to see where the adventure takes us next! 

PS. In case you couldn't tell....I love my family very much!!!!

First Camping/Kayaking Trip of 2010

Another furlough day has come and gone.  We got two nice days and boy did we take advantage of them!  We ended up going to River Bend County Park just above Sweet Home with some friends of ours.  Turned out to be a wonderful park (although we never did make it down to the river).  We got a RV site so I could plug in the electric blanket.  Worked out quite well since it was freezing (literally) Friday night.  Friday and Saturday were spent kayaking at Foster Lake.  

I've always thought Foster Lake wouldn't be good for kayaking because of the jet skis and motorboats.  If you stay on the east side though there are some nice arms that appear to be pretty quiet...could be because it's March but I'd be willing to do it again later in the year. Other than a bit of rain on Saturday night, it was a very pleasant trip.  Off to dry the tent out...or lets get real... Andrew is off to dry the tent out! 

I'll Do It Myself!

Why is it always so hard to work in a group? Is it just me or does it always seem like a few people do the lion's share of the work. I hated group projects in school. While I understand we all have different strengths, blah, blah, blah...there are a lot of times I would rather just do it myself. Thanks Dad (said with sarcasm!)

Today has reminded me of this dilemma. It appears to be happening in multiple areas of my life. I'm concerned about how easy it is to point fingers and speak poorly about others. Frustration causes me to do things I'd really rather not be doing. I don't really think pointing fingers or talking badly about one "team member" with other team members is conducive to solving the problem. Nor does it feel right.

What do you do in these situations? Do you care if you start pointing fingers? Does it bother you when you are speaking badly about other "team members"? Just food for thought.

Do You Belong...Do You Even Want To?

Most of us want to belong. We want to have that sense of community, of being part of a group.


On one hand, I want to be an individual. I've been taught my entire life to be an individual, yet being an individual isn't always enough. Is this a character flaw? At times it would feel as if it is. I should be strong enough to do things on my own. I don't want to have to rely on others. I'll do it myself! Yet, I still seek out community in my life. I want to be part of a group.

According to Sarason (Professor of Psychology Emeritus at Yale University), sense of community is “the perception of similarity to others, an acknowledged interdependence with others, a willingness to maintain this interdependence by giving to or doing for others what one expects from them, and the feeling that one is part of a larger dependable and stable structure.” Others have defined sense of community as “a feeling that members have of belonging, a feeling that members matter to one another and to the group, and a shared faith that members’ needs will be met through their commitment to be together.”

A problem can arise when you don't have a perception of similarity. It's us vs them, but what about when feel like you're neither an us or a them? What if you feel like both.

Can you really be both?

Some days I'm not sure where I am. I feel pulled in many different directions. You see me one way, she sees me another way, and I don't see myself either way. None of these things are negatives, they are just opportunities to look outside of ourselves and open up to the greater world. If you don't feel the need to belong, good for you, I guess. If you do, maybe you want to think about the different groups and how you belong to each. What strengths do you see in your various groups? What are they sharing with and teaching to you? What are you providing in return? Each of us has talents and strengths that we share with those around us. Many times we don't even realize what those talents or strengths might be. Sit down with an honest friend some time and ask them what they see as your strengths or talents. It might just surprise you!

Maybe you belong more than you think and matter to those in your community! And, others are committed to you and you to them, even if you think you have to be an individual and don't yet know how to ask for those things you need.